I have been on the Step up plan for a year now. That is a year of having a fun sized snickers (at least) every day (at least). Last night I gave Art my last fun sized snickers and I am planning on not buying any more.
I just finished reading: In Defence of Food, by Michael Pollan. So many of the topics I have written about here and thought about in the past year as I have been on this very bumpy road to better health, are addressed in this book. The real problem on so many levels is the Western Diet. We are main lining sugar in many forms, (white flour, HFCS, etc) no wonder diabetes is sky rocketing. So I am going to try to get off the sugar. No more white stuff. Maybe if I get it out of my daily diet I can get healthy and get the last 20 pounds off.
So how do I go forward as a "flexitarian"? - (one who eats less than one serving of meat a day) Here's the new plan-
No buying processed food or meat. (That probably means no more shopping at Kroger)
Eat real food, more leaves than seeds, mostly plants
Pay more, eat less (organic, local, peak season, again probably not at Kroger)
Eat slower
Fish 2 times per week- wild and from the "good" list
This change is hard for me. Not really for Art- he is farther along than I am, but Allison is struggling with the changes that are so different from what she finds in the normal world. She doesn't see that the normal world is crazy- where food comes from a window, meals are eaten in the car and bread has 50 ingredients, half of which are unintelligible.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Night Sweats
One thing I know from back when I was on Atkins, when I sweat at night it is my body losing weight. The next morning the scale will show a drop. It has been happening again. In the past year when I wake up to go to the bathroom, I am sweaty when I have been counting my calories and exercising. I do not soak the sheets like I did in the hospital after delivering Allison. After she was born, I had night sweats and left the hospital in my pre-pregnancy jeans. For me there is a real link.
I looked it up on the Internet and I may be the only person that has this phenomena. But it works for me. I am pretty sure that it is not menopause, because it only happens when I am dieting, and only at night. I wonder if it is the body using the stored fat for energy and to get to the stored fat the water has to be let loose, because body fat has a high water percentage. Is this why I should drink more water or herbal tea, to flush the fat out of my body?
Very difficult questions I will ask the dietitian next month when she calls back.
I looked it up on the Internet and I may be the only person that has this phenomena. But it works for me. I am pretty sure that it is not menopause, because it only happens when I am dieting, and only at night. I wonder if it is the body using the stored fat for energy and to get to the stored fat the water has to be let loose, because body fat has a high water percentage. Is this why I should drink more water or herbal tea, to flush the fat out of my body?
Very difficult questions I will ask the dietitian next month when she calls back.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Everything Is Holy Now
Everything is holy now. Here are the lyrics to a song that brings tears to my eyes when sung by my friend at church. It reminds me how very precious and fleeting life is. No soemthing to be taken for granted.
Holy Now
When I was a boy, each week
On Sunday, we would go to church
And pay attention to the priest
He would read the holy word
And consecrate the holy bread
And everyone would kneel and bow
Today the only difference is
Everything is holy now
Everything, everything
Everything is holy now
When I was in Sunday school
We would learn about the time
Moses split the sea in two
Jesus made the water wine
And I remember feeling sad
That miracles don’t happen still
But now I can’t keep track
‘Cause everything’s a miracle
Everything, Everything
Everything’s a miracle
Wine from water is not so small
But an even better magic trick
Is that anything is here at all
So the challenging thing becomes
Not to look for miracles
But finding where there isn’t one
When holy water was rare at best
It barely wet my fingertips
But now I have to hold my breath
Like I’m swimming in a sea of it
It used to be a world half there
Heaven’s second rate hand-me-down
But I walk it with a reverent air
‘Cause everything is holy now
Everything, everything
Everything is holy now
Read a questioning child’s face
And say it’s not a testament
That’d be very hard to say
See another new morning come
And say it’s not a sacrament
I tell you that it can’t be done
This morning, outside I stood
And saw a little red-winged bird
Shining like a burning bush
Singing like a scripture verse
It made me want to bow my head
I remember when church let out
How things have changed since then
Everything is holy now
It used to be a world half-there
Heaven’s second rate hand-me-down
But I walk it with a reverent air
‘Cause everything is holy now
Here's the link to hear and buy the original.
http://www.petermayer.net/music/
A woman from my bible study died this week in a traffic accident that may have been suicide. I pray for her, and am reminded as someone from bible study said on Friday, that we are candles in the wind. Everything is holy if we remember and we see it as so. May it be so.
Holy Now
When I was a boy, each week
On Sunday, we would go to church
And pay attention to the priest
He would read the holy word
And consecrate the holy bread
And everyone would kneel and bow
Today the only difference is
Everything is holy now
Everything, everything
Everything is holy now
When I was in Sunday school
We would learn about the time
Moses split the sea in two
Jesus made the water wine
And I remember feeling sad
That miracles don’t happen still
But now I can’t keep track
‘Cause everything’s a miracle
Everything, Everything
Everything’s a miracle
Wine from water is not so small
But an even better magic trick
Is that anything is here at all
So the challenging thing becomes
Not to look for miracles
But finding where there isn’t one
When holy water was rare at best
It barely wet my fingertips
But now I have to hold my breath
Like I’m swimming in a sea of it
It used to be a world half there
Heaven’s second rate hand-me-down
But I walk it with a reverent air
‘Cause everything is holy now
Everything, everything
Everything is holy now
Read a questioning child’s face
And say it’s not a testament
That’d be very hard to say
See another new morning come
And say it’s not a sacrament
I tell you that it can’t be done
This morning, outside I stood
And saw a little red-winged bird
Shining like a burning bush
Singing like a scripture verse
It made me want to bow my head
I remember when church let out
How things have changed since then
Everything is holy now
It used to be a world half-there
Heaven’s second rate hand-me-down
But I walk it with a reverent air
‘Cause everything is holy now
Here's the link to hear and buy the original.
http://www.petermayer.net/music/
A woman from my bible study died this week in a traffic accident that may have been suicide. I pray for her, and am reminded as someone from bible study said on Friday, that we are candles in the wind. Everything is holy if we remember and we see it as so. May it be so.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Becoming a Vegetarian
I haven't really decided yet, but I am entertaining the idea of becoming a vegetarian, or at least at home.
Being a vegan in our society is very hard. I went to a seminar yesterday to hear one of my heroes. Nick Murray is amazing and his sage advice and wisdom has made me a better and more successful financial advisor. He has had a greater impact on my career than anyone, so I was thrilled to see him speak in person for a lunch meeting yesterday from 11-2. He was irreverent, wise and gave me concrete steps to be better.
Lunch was a disappointment. I had expected make your own sandwiches that they usually have at these functions, so I could make a veggie sandwich. But no, there were roast beef sandwiches and chicken wraps, the vegetarian option was grilled veg and fresh mozzarella on a skewer. The only vegan offering was the fruit salad. I did have the coleslaw and a piece of chocolate cake ignoring the animal products in each. I only have to do this for a week, can't even imagine a vegan life. A vegetarian life is more doable I think. I am moving in that direction. I think that I will stop buying red meat to bring home. We can eat whatever when out, just not in the house. Only chicken, turkey and fish from now on.
I have been reading vegetarian cookbooks and I have some ideas that I think will be great. So far I have come up with the following ovo lacto vegetarian main dishes:
Eggs-griddle cakes both sweet and savory with veggies, quiche, puddings, kugel
Corn-grits, polenta, tamale pie
Italian- pizza, gnocchi, pasta, pesto, marinara, stuffed shells, alfredo
Chinese- lettuce wraps, kung pao, yuxiang eggplant, dry fried green beans, sesame noodles egg foo yung, spicy tofu
Asian- Tom Yum, Pad thai, Vietnamese noodle soup, Miso soup, miso eggplant, tempura
Mexican- tortilla soup, veg fajitas, tacos, burritos, nachos, tostadas
Greek- spanikopita, gigantes (butter beans), moussaka
Indian- peas and tofu, cauliflower curry, vindaloo, spinach, curry chick peas
Mideast/ N Africa- falafel, taboleh, morracan stew, cous cous,
Bean soup- navy, black, pinto, lentil, split pea, white, chili
Veg- Cabbage and potatoes, stuffed pepper/cabbage/potatoes, veg soup, puree veg soup, veg stew, shepherd's pie, ratatouille
Let me know if you have some good vegetarian main dishes.
Being a vegan in our society is very hard. I went to a seminar yesterday to hear one of my heroes. Nick Murray is amazing and his sage advice and wisdom has made me a better and more successful financial advisor. He has had a greater impact on my career than anyone, so I was thrilled to see him speak in person for a lunch meeting yesterday from 11-2. He was irreverent, wise and gave me concrete steps to be better.
Lunch was a disappointment. I had expected make your own sandwiches that they usually have at these functions, so I could make a veggie sandwich. But no, there were roast beef sandwiches and chicken wraps, the vegetarian option was grilled veg and fresh mozzarella on a skewer. The only vegan offering was the fruit salad. I did have the coleslaw and a piece of chocolate cake ignoring the animal products in each. I only have to do this for a week, can't even imagine a vegan life. A vegetarian life is more doable I think. I am moving in that direction. I think that I will stop buying red meat to bring home. We can eat whatever when out, just not in the house. Only chicken, turkey and fish from now on.
I have been reading vegetarian cookbooks and I have some ideas that I think will be great. So far I have come up with the following ovo lacto vegetarian main dishes:
Eggs-griddle cakes both sweet and savory with veggies, quiche, puddings, kugel
Corn-grits, polenta, tamale pie
Italian- pizza, gnocchi, pasta, pesto, marinara, stuffed shells, alfredo
Chinese- lettuce wraps, kung pao, yuxiang eggplant, dry fried green beans, sesame noodles egg foo yung, spicy tofu
Asian- Tom Yum, Pad thai, Vietnamese noodle soup, Miso soup, miso eggplant, tempura
Mexican- tortilla soup, veg fajitas, tacos, burritos, nachos, tostadas
Greek- spanikopita, gigantes (butter beans), moussaka
Indian- peas and tofu, cauliflower curry, vindaloo, spinach, curry chick peas
Mideast/ N Africa- falafel, taboleh, morracan stew, cous cous,
Bean soup- navy, black, pinto, lentil, split pea, white, chili
Veg- Cabbage and potatoes, stuffed pepper/cabbage/potatoes, veg soup, puree veg soup, veg stew, shepherd's pie, ratatouille
Let me know if you have some good vegetarian main dishes.
Normal Eating
I am comforted by the following definition of normal eating. It was created by Ellyn Satter, an expert on eating and feeding. Satter writes:
“Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it—not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.
In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.”
I have never eaten normally. I don't now, my diet and relationship to food is much too restrictive, and taskes up way too much of mty brain space, but I have been getting results. It works for now. Once I am in a size 10 I need to learn to eat normally. Weight today 190.4
“Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it—not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.
In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.”
I have never eaten normally. I don't now, my diet and relationship to food is much too restrictive, and taskes up way too much of mty brain space, but I have been getting results. It works for now. Once I am in a size 10 I need to learn to eat normally. Weight today 190.4
Monday, February 8, 2010
Gall Bladder Flush
Today is day one of my week long vegan diet, culminating in a gall badder and liver flush. I do this about once per year along with my smears for colon cancer screening, which requires a no red meat diet. The bean soup is cooking in the crock pot and I had a mock (soy) chicken sandwich for lunch.
The cleanse is pretty simple ( From The Amzing Liver Cleanse by Andreas Moritz):
Eat a vegan diet Monday through Friday plus drink 2 large glasses of apple juice everyday
Saturday have oatmeal for breakfast and for lunch have white rice and steamed veggies.
Then the fun begins and it gets a bit more complicated. Eat nothing after 2 pm. Drink plenty of water.
6 pm - First serving of Epsom salt (1 Tablespoon of Epsom salt in 3/4 cup of water add lemon to stomach the taste and use a straw to get it down)
8 pm - Second serving of Epsom salt
10 pm Combine 1/2 cup olive oil and 3/4 c fresh squeezed citrus juice in a jar, shake hard. Drink standing next to bed. Lie down on back, keep still for 20 minutes. Go to sleep
Sunday
6 am Third serving of Epsom salt
8 am Fourth serving of Epsom salt
10 am fresh juice
11 am eat fresh fruit
12 eat light
By evening eat normally
The results are that a number of gallstones are released and it detoxes your liver and gall bladder. I have been doing this for at least 5 years once or twice a year and to my amazement there are always gall stones that come out. They are waxy, bright green and pebbles sized.
It is also a way to loose weight short term- I am sure it is water weight but it looks good on the scale.
I borrowed Mark Bittman's Cook Everything Vegetarian and I am flirting with going to more of a plant based diet. With Food Inc (which I still haven't seen) and Pollan's books (which I have read) I am again moving towards a simpler, lower global economic cost and healthier diet.
The cleanse is pretty simple ( From The Amzing Liver Cleanse by Andreas Moritz):
Eat a vegan diet Monday through Friday plus drink 2 large glasses of apple juice everyday
Saturday have oatmeal for breakfast and for lunch have white rice and steamed veggies.
Then the fun begins and it gets a bit more complicated. Eat nothing after 2 pm. Drink plenty of water.
6 pm - First serving of Epsom salt (1 Tablespoon of Epsom salt in 3/4 cup of water add lemon to stomach the taste and use a straw to get it down)
8 pm - Second serving of Epsom salt
10 pm Combine 1/2 cup olive oil and 3/4 c fresh squeezed citrus juice in a jar, shake hard. Drink standing next to bed. Lie down on back, keep still for 20 minutes. Go to sleep
Sunday
6 am Third serving of Epsom salt
8 am Fourth serving of Epsom salt
10 am fresh juice
11 am eat fresh fruit
12 eat light
By evening eat normally
The results are that a number of gallstones are released and it detoxes your liver and gall bladder. I have been doing this for at least 5 years once or twice a year and to my amazement there are always gall stones that come out. They are waxy, bright green and pebbles sized.
It is also a way to loose weight short term- I am sure it is water weight but it looks good on the scale.
I borrowed Mark Bittman's Cook Everything Vegetarian and I am flirting with going to more of a plant based diet. With Food Inc (which I still haven't seen) and Pollan's books (which I have read) I am again moving towards a simpler, lower global economic cost and healthier diet.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Playfulness
From Hafiz, a Great Sufi Master (Iran)"God wants to see more love and playfulness in your eyes, for that is your greatest witness to Him" (from the poem Your Mother and My Mother)
I am not playful, spontaneous, impulsive, romantic, nor a last minute kind of person. I am dependable, efficient, list making, serious, responsible; I am a planner. I am willing to consider the fact that I may be missing the point of living life by continuing to live in the future, not Now.
When I am playing with the dog (Queenie is a Boxer-Pit Bull mix)- tug of war complete with growls on both sides, I am in the moment playing and not worrying about what to cook for dinner or the list of personal and business items I have to accomplish, just for that one moment. Also, when I am playing with my daughter, letting her show me around her virtual world on build a bear ville or playing on her DS I am in the moment playing. I snap out of it, out of the joy and the to-do's nag.
For a long while, since getting married 15 years, ago I have known that I am not the romantic type. I am thoughtful, I get things for Art that I know he will enjoy for no specific reason, just because I want to. I can be sexy, but that is not romantic. The only 2 romantic things I have done, that I can think of are writing him a love letter a few years ago for no reason and surprising him on our 10th anniversary, taking him away to Fearrington Inn for lunch, tea, dinner, over night in a suite there and then brunch the next morning. It was romantic and spontaneous for him, but not for me. It was well planned and discounts were used, me being my old self I had everything mapped out down to bringing snaks, chocolate and wine. The only thing I didn't plan was the wedding happening outside our window, which we watched from the room.
Valentines is coming and once again I am at a loss. Just get him Godiva again? How does one become playful and romantic. Where is the list of things I can check off to become spontaneous? How do you plan play? The lesson once again is to live in the now because it is all we ever have.
I am not playful, spontaneous, impulsive, romantic, nor a last minute kind of person. I am dependable, efficient, list making, serious, responsible; I am a planner. I am willing to consider the fact that I may be missing the point of living life by continuing to live in the future, not Now.
When I am playing with the dog (Queenie is a Boxer-Pit Bull mix)- tug of war complete with growls on both sides, I am in the moment playing and not worrying about what to cook for dinner or the list of personal and business items I have to accomplish, just for that one moment. Also, when I am playing with my daughter, letting her show me around her virtual world on build a bear ville or playing on her DS I am in the moment playing. I snap out of it, out of the joy and the to-do's nag.
For a long while, since getting married 15 years, ago I have known that I am not the romantic type. I am thoughtful, I get things for Art that I know he will enjoy for no specific reason, just because I want to. I can be sexy, but that is not romantic. The only 2 romantic things I have done, that I can think of are writing him a love letter a few years ago for no reason and surprising him on our 10th anniversary, taking him away to Fearrington Inn for lunch, tea, dinner, over night in a suite there and then brunch the next morning. It was romantic and spontaneous for him, but not for me. It was well planned and discounts were used, me being my old self I had everything mapped out down to bringing snaks, chocolate and wine. The only thing I didn't plan was the wedding happening outside our window, which we watched from the room.
Valentines is coming and once again I am at a loss. Just get him Godiva again? How does one become playful and romantic. Where is the list of things I can check off to become spontaneous? How do you plan play? The lesson once again is to live in the now because it is all we ever have.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Old Tricks
I am up to my old tricks again. Back on track with my diet and I bought a new pair of size 10 long dress slacks in black. They are now hanging on the back of my closet door taunting me or encouraging me- depending on the mood and perspective. I have 90 days in which to get into them or I am forced to take them back to Old Navy-- the walk of shame --and return the pants because they don't fit. I can get into these pants, they are just a bit like sausage casing- if you know what I mean, not slacks I could wear in public.
I got a mailing about reunion today. They want me just the way I am, with grey hair and a few extra pounds. Made me feel good, but I don't want me the way I was 18 months ago.
90 days is May 5th. I know I can do it. It may be 10 pounds, and it may be 20 pounds, it may even be 30 pounds, but I doubt it. What ever it is, I know it is doable and I will be a size 10 before the 5th of May. Before that receipt expires!
I got a mailing about reunion today. They want me just the way I am, with grey hair and a few extra pounds. Made me feel good, but I don't want me the way I was 18 months ago.
90 days is May 5th. I know I can do it. It may be 10 pounds, and it may be 20 pounds, it may even be 30 pounds, but I doubt it. What ever it is, I know it is doable and I will be a size 10 before the 5th of May. Before that receipt expires!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Mercy
Mercy is kindness beyond what is demanded by fairness. Compassion. I am a person that has generally seen in black and white- as a child I was really concerned about what was fair. At about 10, my step-mother told me I should grow up to be a judge because I was so sure about what was fair.
I am beginning to see that was is fair may miss the point altogether. This is a lesson I am getting over and over again from the universe so maybe I should pay attention now. As a child and through early adulthood I believed that everyone was equal and that to succeed in school and in life you just needed to stay focused and apply yourself and the world was your oyster. True for me, but not for everyone. My daughter has a learning disability so some academic things are harder for her than for some other kids.
My daughter is also unuasually compassionate for a child and always has been. I think she has a lot to teach me. I am learning. I see shades of gray now and try to be compassionate and show mercy for others and for myself. I have been off my program for a while. January was a tough month with ilnesses in the family, a beach vacation and weather issuses that have left me unmotivated. I started again yesterday and I am showing my self mercy and compassion for being imperfect and human on this journey.
For a while I thought I have to learn how do maintain my weight and not write everthing down and plan all my food and exercise. Well I am not where I can do that yet. It doesnt work for me. I guess I just have to write everything down at this point. Weight is 192.
I am beginning to see that was is fair may miss the point altogether. This is a lesson I am getting over and over again from the universe so maybe I should pay attention now. As a child and through early adulthood I believed that everyone was equal and that to succeed in school and in life you just needed to stay focused and apply yourself and the world was your oyster. True for me, but not for everyone. My daughter has a learning disability so some academic things are harder for her than for some other kids.
My daughter is also unuasually compassionate for a child and always has been. I think she has a lot to teach me. I am learning. I see shades of gray now and try to be compassionate and show mercy for others and for myself. I have been off my program for a while. January was a tough month with ilnesses in the family, a beach vacation and weather issuses that have left me unmotivated. I started again yesterday and I am showing my self mercy and compassion for being imperfect and human on this journey.
For a while I thought I have to learn how do maintain my weight and not write everthing down and plan all my food and exercise. Well I am not where I can do that yet. It doesnt work for me. I guess I just have to write everything down at this point. Weight is 192.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Distractions
I have never understood the fascination with video games. They just haven't really interested me.... until now. My daughter got a nintendo DS this week with her Christmas money and now, we are fighting over time on HER DS. It is simply embarrassing that I am so hooked on this.
On of my intentions this year is to re-learn my Chinese characters. When we went back to China last summer my oral language came right back just about 100%, but not my reading of Chinese characters. It was frustrating not to be able to read street signs in characters or Billboard. Menus I was still fine at reading, but I had forgotten so many of the characters I had learned.
Knowing the Allison was going to get a DS most likely. Just before Christmas, I found a game called "Your Chinese Coach" for about $15 at Target on clearance. I thought this might be good and I had just purchased some character work books that I have been using to brush up on my Chinese. Well the game that I play is all character recognition and I am up to lesson 53 in 3 days- I tested into lesson 11. My word recognition is now over 500 and it is fun and great review for me. There are 1000 lessons in all for over about 10,000 words.
I wanted to re-learn the top 1000 this year for recognition of the top 91% of characters found in common use and work up to 3000 by 2013 to get me to 98-99%. With this program, at the rate I am going it could happen in 6-12 months assuming Allison shares her toy. I have been distracted by the game and not very focused on a few other things the past couple of days, but I feel that it is OK because it is educational and I am working on my language skill. The lesson for me is to enjoy the distraction but keep aware of what my priorities are and not to lose focus. Good thing for all of us that we limit screen time to 2 hours per day.
On of my intentions this year is to re-learn my Chinese characters. When we went back to China last summer my oral language came right back just about 100%, but not my reading of Chinese characters. It was frustrating not to be able to read street signs in characters or Billboard. Menus I was still fine at reading, but I had forgotten so many of the characters I had learned.
Knowing the Allison was going to get a DS most likely. Just before Christmas, I found a game called "Your Chinese Coach" for about $15 at Target on clearance. I thought this might be good and I had just purchased some character work books that I have been using to brush up on my Chinese. Well the game that I play is all character recognition and I am up to lesson 53 in 3 days- I tested into lesson 11. My word recognition is now over 500 and it is fun and great review for me. There are 1000 lessons in all for over about 10,000 words.
I wanted to re-learn the top 1000 this year for recognition of the top 91% of characters found in common use and work up to 3000 by 2013 to get me to 98-99%. With this program, at the rate I am going it could happen in 6-12 months assuming Allison shares her toy. I have been distracted by the game and not very focused on a few other things the past couple of days, but I feel that it is OK because it is educational and I am working on my language skill. The lesson for me is to enjoy the distraction but keep aware of what my priorities are and not to lose focus. Good thing for all of us that we limit screen time to 2 hours per day.
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Butterfly Effect
What we do effects every body,even galaxies light years away. That is the butterfly effect. The good and the bad we do has ripple effects. I forget this. We are powerful beyond our wildest dreams and we should not forget it.
I get anesthetized to the world, my place in it and my impact on it. I am trying to be better. And I will start with my family and know that my mood and how I show up directly impacts them. I have been on this weight loss and spiritual journey the past year and now I can stop navel gazing and help them get healthy too. It is very exciting.
Think about all the people you touch, how you can show up better and if we all do this, the world and universe will be a better place.
I get anesthetized to the world, my place in it and my impact on it. I am trying to be better. And I will start with my family and know that my mood and how I show up directly impacts them. I have been on this weight loss and spiritual journey the past year and now I can stop navel gazing and help them get healthy too. It is very exciting.
Think about all the people you touch, how you can show up better and if we all do this, the world and universe will be a better place.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Let it Be
I tell my daughter when they were giving out patience I was too impatient to wait and went to a different line. I find myself at this late-ish date praying for patience and humility. Two large short comings in my virtues. It must go along with not wanting to give up control of my life and to surrender. I can now say "let go and let God," and mean it, and believe it a little. This is a huge step for me in the past year. I never used the the G word before our new minister came.
The first step to making anything better is to want it to be better. I think that I would have more peace in my life if I had more patience and humility. It is related to why I have, in the past, over-eaten to stuff down the feelings of frustration or not being valued fully. What does humility feel like? I do not need to make myself be too important because I am at peace with myself and my place in the world? See vanity discussion from yesterday below- but humility is the lack of self pride. If I am more connected to God do I really need self pride? I don't think so.
Where as patience is about surrender to others, to god and to my short comings. I try to believe it will all be as it will. What will be will be. It just hit me "Let it be" is about surrender and patience. My very favorite Beatles song, after my dad signing "I Wanna Hold Your hand" is "Let it Be" and I just now got the lesson.
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
The first step to making anything better is to want it to be better. I think that I would have more peace in my life if I had more patience and humility. It is related to why I have, in the past, over-eaten to stuff down the feelings of frustration or not being valued fully. What does humility feel like? I do not need to make myself be too important because I am at peace with myself and my place in the world? See vanity discussion from yesterday below- but humility is the lack of self pride. If I am more connected to God do I really need self pride? I don't think so.
Where as patience is about surrender to others, to god and to my short comings. I try to believe it will all be as it will. What will be will be. It just hit me "Let it be" is about surrender and patience. My very favorite Beatles song, after my dad signing "I Wanna Hold Your hand" is "Let it Be" and I just now got the lesson.
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Vanity
A big motivator for me is vanity. I want to be a size 10 by my 25th that is and has been the weight loss big, long term goal. The secret is that people who are vain are actually insecure, and covering up for it by being vain. Trying to prove to themselves and the world that they are attractive.
We are all just doing our best going on day to day on this planet. Every one has insecurities and vanities to cover them up. Vanity is like the make up I use to cover my dark circles under my eyes. It doesn't take away the circles but I don't have to look at them, and I don't want to show them to the world. Same with our insecurities. So I think about my reunion and I am trying to cover up my insecurities by losing 65 pounds. That is a lot of cover up, but it doesn't take away the insecurities. I wonder what takes them away. An intention for me was to get rid of my fat self image and it is proving hard to shake.
I saw Oprah makes overs yesterday- look good at any age. Where they took women from frumpy to glam in a few moments. The women didn't recognize themselves. Can we all go glam in a few moments with shorter skirts and tighter tops, eye liner and lip gloss? Maybe. Perhaps the better answer is to accept ourselves where we are on this path, actually love ourselves inside and out, warts and all. Make peace with our tummys and bottoms, arms and legs, chins and cheeks. Then we won't have to be vain we can just be confident.
We are all just doing our best going on day to day on this planet. Every one has insecurities and vanities to cover them up. Vanity is like the make up I use to cover my dark circles under my eyes. It doesn't take away the circles but I don't have to look at them, and I don't want to show them to the world. Same with our insecurities. So I think about my reunion and I am trying to cover up my insecurities by losing 65 pounds. That is a lot of cover up, but it doesn't take away the insecurities. I wonder what takes them away. An intention for me was to get rid of my fat self image and it is proving hard to shake.
I saw Oprah makes overs yesterday- look good at any age. Where they took women from frumpy to glam in a few moments. The women didn't recognize themselves. Can we all go glam in a few moments with shorter skirts and tighter tops, eye liner and lip gloss? Maybe. Perhaps the better answer is to accept ourselves where we are on this path, actually love ourselves inside and out, warts and all. Make peace with our tummys and bottoms, arms and legs, chins and cheeks. Then we won't have to be vain we can just be confident.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Cabin Fever
I am still not quite 100%. Lucky for me I work form home and have only had client scheduled phone calls, not face to face meetings this week so far. I have been very busy but not very effective due to being a bit sick.
I have only left the house this week to get my daughter to and from the bus. I am over 15,000 steps on the pedometer so far today mainly from walking laps in my house while on the phone with a dear friend.
I am going stir crazy being locked up and not out in the world. Back in Minnesota in the dead of winter when it is too cold to do anything we called it cabin fever. I am coming down with it here in North Carolina for the first time in a decade.
Tomorrow I will walk OUTSIDE at the Poet's Walk and can't wait. I am going to the brand new Hillsborough library and to get some organic meat at Weaver St Coop. My throat is still sore and I haven't gotten my appetite back but tomorrow I go back into the world.
I have only left the house this week to get my daughter to and from the bus. I am over 15,000 steps on the pedometer so far today mainly from walking laps in my house while on the phone with a dear friend.
I am going stir crazy being locked up and not out in the world. Back in Minnesota in the dead of winter when it is too cold to do anything we called it cabin fever. I am coming down with it here in North Carolina for the first time in a decade.
Tomorrow I will walk OUTSIDE at the Poet's Walk and can't wait. I am going to the brand new Hillsborough library and to get some organic meat at Weaver St Coop. My throat is still sore and I haven't gotten my appetite back but tomorrow I go back into the world.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Weather and Under the Weather
The weather is too cold and I am sick with a really bad sore throat. I would love to just complain and tell you about how I can't swallow and that is has been bitter cold. It was so cold that walking outside last week I got sick. I walked Terry Road and came down with a wicked sore throat the next day. Before I got sick I walked laps around my down stairs. So I won't just complain, I will share a few lessons with you.
My lessons this weeks:
If I am going to exercise indoors- which I hate- I will do it here, not at the Sportsplex. I get on the phone and walk laps through the living room, study, bathroom to the entry way back to the living room.
If I am sick, lie on the couch and let my body heal. Don't push it and don't eat over it. I haven't been very hungry while sick and I have been unable to swallow. The result is that the holiday weight is coming off, to the tune of 2.5 pounds in 3 days.
My lessons this weeks:
If I am going to exercise indoors- which I hate- I will do it here, not at the Sportsplex. I get on the phone and walk laps through the living room, study, bathroom to the entry way back to the living room.
If I am sick, lie on the couch and let my body heal. Don't push it and don't eat over it. I haven't been very hungry while sick and I have been unable to swallow. The result is that the holiday weight is coming off, to the tune of 2.5 pounds in 3 days.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Seafood Watch
Last night we had wild caught Alaskan salmon (from frozen fish section at Super Target, half salmon fillet serves 6 for 6.99) We had gotten away from eating fish, but is now our intention to eat fish once per week. There are a lot of concerns about fish-among them mercury levels and environmental impact. I found Seafood Watch recommendations and that is where we will start.
Seafood choices, that we like, from Seafood Watch (Monterey Bay Aquarium) recommendations: US/ Canadian shrimp, Bay or wild sea scallops, farm raised catfish, wild caught Alaskan salmon, US snapper, Pacific halibut, Pacific wild flounder/ sole, whiting and Pacific Cod.
Our food supply is so much more complicated than it was generations ago. It is important to make good choices and to be well informed about what we are eating and feeding our families. Your health depends on it.
Seafood choices, that we like, from Seafood Watch (Monterey Bay Aquarium) recommendations: US/ Canadian shrimp, Bay or wild sea scallops, farm raised catfish, wild caught Alaskan salmon, US snapper, Pacific halibut, Pacific wild flounder/ sole, whiting and Pacific Cod.
Our food supply is so much more complicated than it was generations ago. It is important to make good choices and to be well informed about what we are eating and feeding our families. Your health depends on it.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Sabbath
A sabbath is a break or a day of rest. The term "Sabbath" derives from the Hebrew shabbat (שבת), "to cease". As a family we have a ritual or tradition that has fallen by the wayside and that we are picking up again. Observing the Sabbath as UUs not Jews and taking a break from the busy world and focusing on our family. For us that means having our Friday meal together, lighting a candle(chalice)and sharing our joys and concerns from the week. I got this from a good friend, who is Jewish. They share 3 good things and one bad from the week. I have adapted this to joys and concerns similar to what we share at our church.
Our rule (from my friend) is you must share 3 joys at a minimum and only 1 concern. This allows all of us to stay focused on the positive. Last night we shared our joys and concerns, mainly joys about the holidays and seeing friends and family over break; concerns about flu, speeding ticket and how a friend is being teased.
This has become a spiritual practice for us as a family. I was writing the joys and concerns down for a while. I think I will start that up again. I just love the beginning of a new year when we can start fresh on all fronts. Focus on the positive and acknowledge the joys in your life.
Another new practice for the new year, to keep me on track to being a size 10 by my 25th reunion in June, will be to post my weight loss results weekly. Week 45-189- loss of 40 pounds since program started 3/3/09 (or total weght loss since 9/1/08 of 45) versus goal of 60 (65) pounds by week 67. I am up 5 pounds since my lowest point before the holidays. ;( Perhap reporting my results will keep me on track. :)
Our rule (from my friend) is you must share 3 joys at a minimum and only 1 concern. This allows all of us to stay focused on the positive. Last night we shared our joys and concerns, mainly joys about the holidays and seeing friends and family over break; concerns about flu, speeding ticket and how a friend is being teased.
This has become a spiritual practice for us as a family. I was writing the joys and concerns down for a while. I think I will start that up again. I just love the beginning of a new year when we can start fresh on all fronts. Focus on the positive and acknowledge the joys in your life.
Another new practice for the new year, to keep me on track to being a size 10 by my 25th reunion in June, will be to post my weight loss results weekly. Week 45-189- loss of 40 pounds since program started 3/3/09 (or total weght loss since 9/1/08 of 45) versus goal of 60 (65) pounds by week 67. I am up 5 pounds since my lowest point before the holidays. ;( Perhap reporting my results will keep me on track. :)
Friday, January 8, 2010
Get Healthy: The Family Plan
I have made some healthy changes in the past year. My family, however, has not made any changes. An intention for 2010 is make family changes in diet and exercise for the following reasons: 1) to get them more healthy and 2) to support my changes and 3) to further improve my diet.
So what should we do? We had a family meeting last night to discuss.
Exercise: We each need to exercise more. We will have a family walk in the woods on the weekends, or a family bike ride in conjunction with a trip to the farmers market- Saturday one hour and Sunday one hour. As a family we will build a path together in our woods and walk that path. Allison and I can walk in the field for half an hour after school when I get her from the bus. This can be her walking the dog time which she needs to do for her allowance. Art will start biking 3 days a week in April and add going to the Sportsplex in June. We will look into a vacation at the Virginia Creeper trail with camping, much different from the time share resorts we frequent, where we watch a lot of TV.
Diet: Improve the quality food and no manger's specials. Make homemade bread and quick bread and cookies for desserts. We will have a small garden this year to grow our own healthy food. Shop more at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods and Weaver Street. Saturdays make a stop at the Farmers Market, either Hillsborough, Durham or Carborro/Chapel Hill if we are at church for choir practice. We will get a portion CSA from Brinkley farms this summer.
Breakfast- Options for Allison- Hot cereal, toast, eggs, yogurt, fruit
Lunch- Allison- hot leftovers, peanut butter, cheese, hot soup each one day plus veg, fruit, starch and dessert. School lunch one day per week.
Dinner- Daily salad for everyone in a bowl with out dressing plus Main course, veg and starch. I will make more interesting salads with more variety: lettuce, cuke, carrot, celery, green pepper, onion, croutons, pomegranate, citrus, nuts, eggs, beets, olives, cheese.
Meal rotations: Seafood, pork/eggs, pasta/ Italian, Chinese, Mexican, bean soup and Chicken. No more rotisserie chicken very very limited beef in the house.
Natural meat and dairy- no hormones or antibiotics
Lifestyle: Limit screen time (computer and TV not including news or music) to 2 hours per day for each of us plus 2 movies a week preferably family movie time. We are already very green but I will stop buying new clothes, we will turn off lights when not in the room and turn off the computer at night. No more plastic grocery bags.
So what should we do? We had a family meeting last night to discuss.
Exercise: We each need to exercise more. We will have a family walk in the woods on the weekends, or a family bike ride in conjunction with a trip to the farmers market- Saturday one hour and Sunday one hour. As a family we will build a path together in our woods and walk that path. Allison and I can walk in the field for half an hour after school when I get her from the bus. This can be her walking the dog time which she needs to do for her allowance. Art will start biking 3 days a week in April and add going to the Sportsplex in June. We will look into a vacation at the Virginia Creeper trail with camping, much different from the time share resorts we frequent, where we watch a lot of TV.
Diet: Improve the quality food and no manger's specials. Make homemade bread and quick bread and cookies for desserts. We will have a small garden this year to grow our own healthy food. Shop more at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods and Weaver Street. Saturdays make a stop at the Farmers Market, either Hillsborough, Durham or Carborro/Chapel Hill if we are at church for choir practice. We will get a portion CSA from Brinkley farms this summer.
Breakfast- Options for Allison- Hot cereal, toast, eggs, yogurt, fruit
Lunch- Allison- hot leftovers, peanut butter, cheese, hot soup each one day plus veg, fruit, starch and dessert. School lunch one day per week.
Dinner- Daily salad for everyone in a bowl with out dressing plus Main course, veg and starch. I will make more interesting salads with more variety: lettuce, cuke, carrot, celery, green pepper, onion, croutons, pomegranate, citrus, nuts, eggs, beets, olives, cheese.
Meal rotations: Seafood, pork/eggs, pasta/ Italian, Chinese, Mexican, bean soup and Chicken. No more rotisserie chicken very very limited beef in the house.
Natural meat and dairy- no hormones or antibiotics
Lifestyle: Limit screen time (computer and TV not including news or music) to 2 hours per day for each of us plus 2 movies a week preferably family movie time. We are already very green but I will stop buying new clothes, we will turn off lights when not in the room and turn off the computer at night. No more plastic grocery bags.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Calorie Math
Weight loss is simple math. Calories in and calories out. From the Step Up program I have more information than most on the number of calories I burn per day. For the every 6 month assessments, they have me wear an arm band that measures my metabolic rate.
My initial rate was about 2500 calories per day with 8,243 steps per day general lifestyle with little exercise, six months later it was about 2600 after losing 35 pounds with walking over 14,700 steps per day on average including about 3.5 miles per day for exercise.
If I get in my exercise of 3500 calories per week and eat 1500 calories per day here's what happens:
Let's assume my basic metabolic burn rate is -2000* + eat 1500- exercise 500 equals a daily deficit of -1000 equals a loss of 2 pounds per week.
(* It may be more but according to the tables,at my age, height and weight it should be a lot less- 1600. 2000 is an educated conservative guess given the arm band info. As an aside, I think this is the reason that women have such a hard time losing weight in menopause-the metabolic rate must just plummet.)
If I eat 2000 calories per day then the deficit is 500 calories per day and that is 1 pound per week.
If I only burn half of goal or 250 calories and eat 1500 calories, the daily deficit is -750 or 1.5 pounds per week.
The biggest influence on how much I lose is how much I put in my mouth. The calorie math is just that simple. This is why counting and being aware of every calorie is critical to my success.
My initial rate was about 2500 calories per day with 8,243 steps per day general lifestyle with little exercise, six months later it was about 2600 after losing 35 pounds with walking over 14,700 steps per day on average including about 3.5 miles per day for exercise.
If I get in my exercise of 3500 calories per week and eat 1500 calories per day here's what happens:
Let's assume my basic metabolic burn rate is -2000* + eat 1500- exercise 500 equals a daily deficit of -1000 equals a loss of 2 pounds per week.
(* It may be more but according to the tables,at my age, height and weight it should be a lot less- 1600. 2000 is an educated conservative guess given the arm band info. As an aside, I think this is the reason that women have such a hard time losing weight in menopause-the metabolic rate must just plummet.)
If I eat 2000 calories per day then the deficit is 500 calories per day and that is 1 pound per week.
If I only burn half of goal or 250 calories and eat 1500 calories, the daily deficit is -750 or 1.5 pounds per week.
The biggest influence on how much I lose is how much I put in my mouth. The calorie math is just that simple. This is why counting and being aware of every calorie is critical to my success.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Exercise and Weight Loss
My experience is that I can't lose weight without exercise. The research shows that you can but it is harder; you can't lose weight with exercise alone and people that exercise are more sucessful at keeping the weight off.
I have made some progress in my exercise in the past 6 months. I have gone from dreading the exercise, to looking forward to my daily walks in nature, yoga and even spin classes. I am not at the point where I get a rush from exercise, but I do enjoy it now. I am not just doing it because I know I have to for my body. I would rather go for a walk than lie on the coach.
From my December Step Up meeting I learned this is a natural process. We move from Beginner- doing it because we have to, to get the benefits, to the Maintainer where we enjoy it. I do feel that it is spiritual now for me, and it feeds my soul. My new mantra, I came up with, is: My body is the temple where my soul lives; the food I eat and the exercise, the offerings. I believe at my core that the exercise honors my soul.
Since this is the snickers diet I will equate my exercise with snickers. I need to walk 52-59 minutes, (depending on my weight 200 and 175) to burn a snickers (280 calories)at a 20 minute mile or moderate pace. In my 45 minute spin class I burn about 2 snickers- 611 calories and yoga/pilates is about 340 calories for 45 minutes at my weight and age.
My plan is to burn .5 to 1 pound of weight per week. Goal burn of 3500 calories with a minimum of 1750 per week. Here's how that works for my goal of 3500:
2 yoga/ pilates classes- 340 calories
2 spin classes- 1222 calories
Swimming once per week 30 minutes- 317 calories
balance 1621 calories- walking 324 minutes per week- that is, on average 46 minutes per day every day or 65 minutes, 5 days a week. When I am focused and motivated I can do that.
I have been getting my walks in this week, but have missed spin and yoga as my daughter has the flu and I can't get to the sportsplex. I will meet my minimum with just walking. This is my busy time of the year with my practice because my clients all need year end review meetings and new clients are motivated to get a financial plan. But I can do it all, and do it well if I stay focused and MOTIVATED. I hope this blog motivates you and that you learn something. It really helps to keep me focused, accountable and motivated. Thank you for reading this.
I have made some progress in my exercise in the past 6 months. I have gone from dreading the exercise, to looking forward to my daily walks in nature, yoga and even spin classes. I am not at the point where I get a rush from exercise, but I do enjoy it now. I am not just doing it because I know I have to for my body. I would rather go for a walk than lie on the coach.
From my December Step Up meeting I learned this is a natural process. We move from Beginner- doing it because we have to, to get the benefits, to the Maintainer where we enjoy it. I do feel that it is spiritual now for me, and it feeds my soul. My new mantra, I came up with, is: My body is the temple where my soul lives; the food I eat and the exercise, the offerings. I believe at my core that the exercise honors my soul.
Since this is the snickers diet I will equate my exercise with snickers. I need to walk 52-59 minutes, (depending on my weight 200 and 175) to burn a snickers (280 calories)at a 20 minute mile or moderate pace. In my 45 minute spin class I burn about 2 snickers- 611 calories and yoga/pilates is about 340 calories for 45 minutes at my weight and age.
My plan is to burn .5 to 1 pound of weight per week. Goal burn of 3500 calories with a minimum of 1750 per week. Here's how that works for my goal of 3500:
2 yoga/ pilates classes- 340 calories
2 spin classes- 1222 calories
Swimming once per week 30 minutes- 317 calories
balance 1621 calories- walking 324 minutes per week- that is, on average 46 minutes per day every day or 65 minutes, 5 days a week. When I am focused and motivated I can do that.
I have been getting my walks in this week, but have missed spin and yoga as my daughter has the flu and I can't get to the sportsplex. I will meet my minimum with just walking. This is my busy time of the year with my practice because my clients all need year end review meetings and new clients are motivated to get a financial plan. But I can do it all, and do it well if I stay focused and MOTIVATED. I hope this blog motivates you and that you learn something. It really helps to keep me focused, accountable and motivated. Thank you for reading this.
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