The diet sabotage is coming from focusing on the negative. Shift and change your mind. Why do I eat/ over eat knowing what the results will be? I am a very intelligent woman and I know when I am eating more than I am burning and I do it anyway. Why??? In the past I have known when I was over eating on a regular basis and I remember thinking "am I trying to gain as much weight as possible?" I think it happens when I feel bad about myself, frustrated, tired and when things feel a bit out of control.
Something shifts and I just stop caring for a minute or more. I eat unconsciously. I am wondering about the psychology behind why people are heavy. I think my self-sabotaging behaviors are all symptoms of a self-image that’s inconsistent with present results. Emerson once wrote, “Of what use to make heroic vows of amendment if the same old lawbreaker is to keep them?" Jesus taught us that it is folly to put new wine into old bottles or a patch new material on an old garment. Maybe I haven't change that much.
I am trying to change my self image by driving my Jag and getting out my (mouton) fur coat from college, with moderate success. I have been "pleasingly plump", "sack of potatoes" and "pumpkin"my whole life, while my sister was "skinny mini" and "princess". It is a hard thing to change the vision of myself that was put there so long ago. I know rationally that I look good but in my heart I don't feel it some days and I comfort myself with food. Until the inside matches the outside this will continually be a struggle for me.
I will write down the body image I want and fake it until I make it. (As my wise minister says, "act as if") I will put the body image I want in my gratitude journal, make a daily gratitude for my body and put myself on prayer list to love my body and not abuse it with wrong food or over eating. Treat it as sacred. My body is the temple where my soul lives. The food I eat and the exercise I do, the offerings.
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Act as if is a great plan and I've used it successfully (however often inconsistently) for years. This is a blog post I will return to often because it hits core issues for me. I think the coat and the Jag represent the "new wine skins" but we have to change deeper at our core and I think this takes no less than a spiritual awakening. We can't do it on the surface level.........we need to go deep and connect with God at a Soul level!!! I'm with you in this area, Kari, and thank you for being a fellow traveler on this walk.
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