This weekend is our annual mom's weekend. We started a mom's group ten years ago. We got together with small babes every week, we watched each other's kids and each other grow and change. We shifted to once a month dinner or desset for a while when the kids got too big. Then that stopped but we always kept the weekend away. We go away without kids and others and stay at one of the Mom's parents second home over looking Grandfather Mountian. In the past we have done it in January. This year we decided on October and the leaves should be beautiful. We drive up to Boone and have lunch out and shop at Mast General, we hike grandfather mountian and go over to the outlets in Blowing Rock and have a nice dinner out on Saturday night. It is always a grand time with lots of good food and plenty to drink.
I am concerned. I can't do the eating and drinking this time. I realized that this has always been one of those free weekends, where anything goes and none of the calories count. One mom brings a whole pan of blondies/ brownies, another makes killer gimlets and we all indulge. I decided that I need to shift my behavior and still be sensitive not to interfer with the good time of the others.
I will be bringing my food- my whole 1500 calories per day. I will have everything planned out down to the snacks to take on the hike and I am not going out to eat out. I have realized that I really do not enjoy going out to eat anymore. I only do it for other people. I can not control the food or order what I want. It is just not fun having naked fish or chicken and no dessert when I want a big steak, french fries, red wine and cheesecake. Not fun to watch other enjoying a meal that I am not enjoying. So I decided I'd rather not go out. I can stay in and watch cable or read a book, enjoy the mountain air and the beautiful Autumn leaves. We will have our bonding time together without food as the center piece.
In the past, vacations - big or mini have been times of putting on weight, over eating and drinking. This stops now. When on vacation I can still have a great time, enjoy the company of others and not go out to eat and not over eat and over drink. I know it is possible but it is a big shift for me. I think this fear and resistance has been gnawing at me for the past few days bringing me down because I don't want to disappoint others or change my good time behavior.
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I identified "eating for entertainment" as a problem a long time ago. Identifying it as a problem is one thing, but being willing to do something about it is quite another. Bravo for you, Kari, for naming it and addressing it. My suspicion is that we'll both go back to enjoying eating out again, but in a different way. For now, I'm with you. Going out for entertainment is a 'no, no'. Just think of all the money we'll save in the process....also, it is a strong spiritual exercise in living consciously, deliberately, and mindfully and not just in a way that is promoted by the marketing moguls in the popular culture. Thanks for settting the example, Kari. You've set your boundaries, now enjoy the weekend! Don't be surprised, though, if your friends don't all act completely supportive....that's to be expected. It will be great if they do, and maybe they will, but if someone is less than gracious, you can handle that with assertiveness and grace as well. Have fun (on your own terms)!!
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